Lengua en Salsa

I went to Portland, OR with my roommate for a half marathon that I was supposed to run in, but because of a knee injury, could not.  We did the only logical thing one can do when unable to run: EAT.  We went to Pambiche, a Cuban restaurant.  It was very blue there.

Cuban food looks delicious!  

And then I tell you that my plate has pork tongue on it. Tongue that looked like tongue.

Tongue that looked like tongue and tasted like liver, and gave me more than my recommended iron intake for the day.  Yum!

Ring Pop!

Because no bachelorette party would be complete without them!

P.S. This was a different Helen's bachelorette party.

Seattle Gum Wall

This wasn't the first time I've visited the Seattle Gum Wall, but this is the first time it was so well documented.  All I wanted to do was stick some ABC gum to a wall, take a picture, and move on with my life.  Unfortunately, things are never that simple.

It all started because I wanted to reproduce a picture that looked something like this.

I wanted to do it bigger and better this time (and apparently with crazier, unkempt hair and camera settings I don't understand).  So, I started chewing... and gnashing... and chomping...

When I was finally finished masticating, I stretched out the gum...

... stuck it to the wall, and Rose snapped a picture.

Then some random dude with his phone snapped a picture.

Then I heard this lady screaming to her husband to look at "this."  "This" was me, attached to a wall by some sour green apple Bubble Tape, which was basically a germ freeway from the wall to my face.

 Then that guy pointed and yelled.

And this woman asked me to hold still for a few more seconds while she took a picture.

And that, my friends, is how you end up in vacation scrapbooks of families you will never actually meet. 

Feet (of two birds)!

So last night, I met some chicken and duck feet.

The chicken feet were all like, "Hey what's up?" High five.

But when I put them on my plate, they started giving me the finger.

So I ate that finger.

Let this be a warning to you. If you give me the finger, this will happen to your hand:

The duck feet were guilty by association.

Moral of the story: Don't give me the finger or hang out with others who give me the finger.

Bacon Asparagus Quiche, The Queen Mary, Seattle

Hard to believe this was a work lunch...

... and yes, that is a crown.

Pancake Balls, Columbus, Ohio

Breakfast at Katalina's in Columbus, Ohio means Nutella-filled pancake balls with sweet and spicy bacon.

Chapulines (or just grasshoppers)

This is a story about how I ate bugs! Once upon a time, there was a girl called Helen.  She traveled to the far off land of Capitol Hill to find the Mexican bar called Poquitos because she had heard tell of a mystical food called Chapulines.  Her friends warned her that Chapulines are not at all similar to Chalupas but are in fact grasshoppers, but no matter how many disgusted faces they made, she called to the waitress, and ordered the Chapulines.  The not so stellar waitress set the tiny little grasshoppers in a tiny little skillet in front of Helen.

"Mmm!" said Helen as she smelled her miniature feast. "These almost look like they're still moving!" So she picked one up, and held it in her hand.

 "My what long legs you have!" Helen said to her new friend.  But the grasshopper did not respond.

 

"Little buddy?" Still, no response.  The grasshopper was a dead as a doornail.  "Oh well," Helen shrugged. "I'm sure he lived a fulfilling life before he was put in the tiny little skillet and seasoned with chile-lime salt." And she popped the grasshopper into her mouth.

Magically, all of the other grasshoppers arose from their chile-lime slumber, and lined up to join their friend in the nirvana that is Helen's digestive tract.

 The End!